ten OF MANY things I never want to hear by daughter say to me

1."I need to go and see my parole officer"

2. "I'm sorry I bit you...okay, I'm sorry I bit you AGAIN."

3. "Sixteen in NOT too young to be a STEP-mother"

4. "It's called Ecstasy"

5. "I don't KNOW who the father is."

6. " A "D" does not mean I'm stupid, it means "Deal with it".

7. "Mom, how do you spell 'Cat'?"

8. "Where does it say that you HAVE to graduate high school?"

9. "You're probably going to want to sit down first."

10."Oh, hey, mom, I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow."

Comments

[b.]

Sounds like you NEEEEED some courage!

You're funny....I think you have to be smart to be funny!

[Marinka]

oh, that's a great list. Just as I was running out of things to worry about!

[Braja]

11. "I'm moving in with Vodka Mom."

[Casey]

Unfortunately, number two has come true in our house this week. Damn.

[Lana]

AMEN!!

[Akilah Sakai]

Today my daughter walks into my room and says, "We have a problem. I dropped my panties into my toilet."

So, I've had aiming issues today and then list above. I'm packing up and moving out NOW!

[the mama bird diaries]

With a fab mom like you, she will NEVER utter those things.

[Kristina]

I think these were all spoken in Lifetime movies.

[Rachel]

My daughter asked me just today how to spell BAD. She's nine years old.

[blognut]

Is there an over/under bet on any of these? I want in on it.

I'm betting you hear number 9 and number 10 sometime in your lifetime.

[Julia]

12. He only hits me because he loves me (very Rihanna appropriate).

[Jennifer H]

13. Does the plus sign mean pregnant or not pregnant?

These were great. Except now I'm nervous and my heart is pounding and now I have to pre-emptively ground my daughter.

[Kirsten]

#14 If I only have oral sex does that mean I'm still a virgin?

[Roshni]

I actually like the one about D being Deal with it!! If she thinks that way AND deals with it, then no problem with me!!

[Stoneskin]

I'd love to hear your ten responses.

[heartatpreschool (Kari)]

You forgot one...

"So, I went ahead and had the doctor implant all six embryos."

[p.huong]

My mom is so old school, she wouldn't know what #4 means. I could play it off as some kind of anti-inflammatory med (being pre-med, she'd trust me)... if she doesn't question why there is an imprint of a bunny on the pill.

[lisa]

I'm afraid you and most of us parents are going to hear a couple of these. Since the vary in severity, I'm actually hoping to get bit twice, rather than discuss parole, optional hs graduation, etc.

Hilarious list.

[Beth]

Great list! So far I can't check any off - and I'm good with that.

[vodkamom]

Mrs. P, this is officer Smith. We have your daughter here.

yeah. done that.

[K]

How about

"Can I move back in with you"-when she's about 30 or

"He is NOT really old enough to be my father"

The joys of parenting.

[Kylie]

p.huong knows way too much about Ecstasy:).

Good list. I can't think of anything to add.

And #2 is my niece.

[Hallie]

Or..

Someday you're gonna laught at this...

Everytime CJ started with that, I died a little inside.

Hallie :)

[Michele]

OMG, is there a prize? I got two boys into their twenties and have yet to hear any of these or their male versions. Yeah!!! Of course it probably had nothing to do with me but I'm taking all the credit.

[Kristine]

These are priceless, I have nothing to add.