Those are Some Big Premiums You've Got There

The other day, a friend of mine got married.  Although she initially considered having a big wedding, they ended up doing a quickie ceremony because, well, truth be told, it was time for her annual pap smear. 

You see, my girlfriend has no health insurance and her, now, husband does and well, although I totally get why they did what they did, talk about sucking the romance out of matrimony huh? 

CITY HALL CLERK:  And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

BRIDE:  (to the clerk) I do. (Into her cell phone) Yes, I'd like to set up an appointment for a mammogram....

Unfortunately, for a lot of people, this is what it has been like for a while now.  For many of the newly wed, the reception?,  a biopsy and a CAT scan. The honeymoon? Three nights stay at a local hospital because as much as the groom would have loved to have had that hernia repaired prior to the big day,  he didn't have the cash and although that is no longer the case, that hernia is now coupled with a bleeding ulcer, which developed from his taking copious amounts of Ibuprofen just to keep the pain at bay.

You know, people often ask me if I would remarry and every time, I tell them the same thing:

JESSICA:  It depends. Is he funny? Does he have a dead mother? and most importantly, how high is his deductible?

Ah, love.....

The lovely Marinka has invited me over to http://www.secretspinelesswhine.blogspot.com to....ahem...."share" my oh so minor frustration with a stupor I had the joy of meeting the other day. 

Also:  Don't forget: last chance to leave a comment and win the book, "How to Traumatize Your Kids".

Comments

[The Dental Maven]

Those sound like very well thought out and level headed marriage parameters to me.

[michelle]

Wow sad commentary on life in the year 2009 huh?

Hopefully things will change!! *fingers crossed*

[Lilacspecs]

All I have to say is Belgium = socialized healthcare.
I'm only avoiding the dentist now out of fear for my jaw, not for my wallet.

[Hallie]

Too bad they didn't think ahead and ask for monetary gifts at the wedding. They could have set up a "MY VAJAYJAY NEEDS A GOOD CLEANING" tree. People could contribute for her smear!!

Hallie

[hokgardner]

Ugh. I'm still dealing with bills from Elizabeth's birth, six months ago! I should have requested cash instead of baby clothes. Not that I actually requested clothes, but you know what I mean. I hope.

[Michele]

I could go on and on about our screwed up health care system but that's just boring. I think dead mother trumps high deductible every time.

[Holly]

You know, I'm a quickie kind of a girl anyway.

[Dana's Brain]

Yup, the whole situation sucks. (Health Insurance, not your friend's marriage. Duh.)

[Laura]

Taking the romance out of the wedding is a good thing. This way people are confronted with the reality of wedded life and not wedded to the irrationality of the ceremony. It weeds out the to be's who aren't sincere enough.

I have a friend who won't marry her boyfriend just so he can share her health insurance. He has to get down on his knees to propose. Problem is, his kness are shot.

[Blognut]

Well, sure. Why else would you get married?

[Momisodes]

I think that would be my exact same reply. Living MIL's and high deductibles are definite deal breakers.

[Melissa from Pittsburgh]

Ahhh, Romance ... those days are over.

Okay Jess (do you go by Jess, probably not, sorry). Jessica, I've wanted to comment about my awful horrible no-good rotten mommy skills but 1-I have an AWFUL memory, and 2-I'm not very creative. I'm insane, I know this but I'm not creative. SOOOOO ... trying to think of something witty and wonderful and so damn insiteful it makes everyone laugh, well ... I just don't have those skills. I have sarcasm, yes, but who doesn't these days.

So ... all I can say is that I have all too many times told my girlys to 'shut up', 'quit singing it's burning my ears', '..because I said so', 'I'm the mommy you are the children so quit telling me what to do', 'SHUT UP', and my favorite, 'don't tell daddy'.

See, nothing great or insiteful, BORING. How can I win with the BORING manner by which I tramatize my girlys?

It just occured to me that you probably want all comments on THAT post? So let me think when I don't have 50 gazillion other things to worry about, I hope to come up with SOMETHING, ANYTHING better than those pitiful only slightly trama inducers.

[Kate Coveny Hood]

This is genius. You should absolutely go into insurance sales. I think you've found your target market.

[Kristina]

Nothing says I Love You like the gift of a pap smear.

[Chris]

I've had a few friends who've done the "practical" thing over the "romantic" thing. I get it.

Your nose is gorgeous!

[Thi]

Ha, ha, ha! I love your posts! Always keep me laughing. :P Thanks for a good one.

[MommyTime]

Sad and a little too true. Also, perhaps the good news is that this way, she will have saved enough money to go on a really great honeymoon, now that all these visits will only cost her a copay!

[Pseudo]

My husband has excellent health insurance....

[HeatherPride]

My husband still makes fun of the fact that I had a "minimum salary" requirement on my match.com account. (that's how we met) Whatever, I say. A girl's got to have standards.

[Busy Bee Suz]

This is so funny and scarily TRUE!!!!
I hope you do meet a funny guy with a dead Mom and good insurance!!! have you tried e-harmony? you can put in your critiera just like that!!!

[Joanie]

I'd marry John for his health insurance in a heartbeat. Only problem is I'd lose my alimony. That runs out in Dec 2014. I also discovered if I wait until after I'm 60 (which is 9 months after the alimony runs out)to re-marry, I'll still get asshole's social security (double what mine would be). so we're waiting. :)

[Akilah Sakai]

Huh? What's wrong with this picture? Nada!

I married for cheaper car insurance rates 'cos I hadn't heard of Geico at the time.

[TwoBusy]

"Does he have a dead mother?"

And the diet coke goes uuuuuuup and out my nose.

(it burns, btw.)

[Luci]

I find those excellent reasons to wed or not. The love part is pretty cool too, though.

[Lana]

I'm lucky. You know, Canada and universal health care and all. Although my teeth could use some work... And the government doesn't cover dentistry. Hmm. Marriage might just be an option after all! ;)